On Age and Face Jewelry

Posted on January 19, 2012 by KO

I am thirty four years old and, therefore, probably too old to be wearing a nose ring. I am a professional, an educator, someone who (at least sometimes) wears suits to work. Nonetheless, I stubbornly do not feel like giving it up — and I do teach in Liberal Arts, which means I don’t really have to. I could probably get away with wearing Birkenstocks every day if I wanted to (but thank dog I don’t). I have been wearing the same plain surgical steel hoop in my nose for about the past 14 years. I decided, as some sort of nod to maturity (and also a desire for something new), to switch to a small sparkly stud I bought from Etsy. This would, I thought, be less conspicuous, and also pretty.

Let me just tell you what a giant pain in the ass this whole thing was. After finally removing the hoop (which was just a single piece of wire that had to be straightened out a bit to be removed), I tried for some time to insert the screw-shaped stud I’d bought to replace it.

As you can see in the photo, the screw is both an awkward (but clever) design, and a slightly thicker gauge than the hoop was. It was annoying and painful to put it in, but I figured once I’d gotten it there I was good to go.

Cut to two days later, when I woke up with my nose even more sore than it had already been and obviously inflamed and disgusting. Huh. I took the stud out, but could not get the hoop to go back (it was too bent up at this point and messing around with it was painful). I figured it was time to face facts: Just like Roger Murtaugh, I am too old for this shit. I would have to give it up.

But then, I was struck with inspiration: I would go to the mall. There is a Hot Topic in the mall. A Hot Topic that sells nose jewelry. Could I face the horrors of Hot Topic? Was the Hot Topic even still in business? I could and it was.

I walked right in, me, thirty-four years old, and tried to avoid having to talk to the teenaged boy working the counter. I guess the young people of Auburn are perhaps not the target market for exaggerated fishnet tights, manga lunchboxes, and Evanescence tee-shirts, because I was the only customer in the place. Of course, the teenaged boy (who, I feel like I should mention, had several facial piercings of his own, as is appropriate for a teenager) came over and had to help me choose a nose stud from the glass case, amiably chatting me up the entire time. He apparently could not see how mortified I was to be there: me! thirty-four years old! in a Hot Topic! Let’s just say I got out of there as fast as possible, before he could ask me if I was buying the nose jewelry for my kid or something.

There was a happy ending, though: after much washing and sterlizing and such, I managed to put in the smaller-gauge, L-shaped stud. It was approximately a thousand times easier to use than the screw-shaped stud I’d tried before, and because it was as skinny as my old hoop, it didn’t aggravate or stretch my nose at all.

Before and After

Lessons learned: 1) check the gauge of any new body-peircing jewelry you buy; 2) Yes, Hot Topic is still in business, and 3) apparently I have determined that thirty-four is still not too old for this shit, at least for now.

Three Things Thursday

Posted on November 17, 2011 by KO

1. Today was the last day of teaching prior to Thanksgiving break. Hooray!

Last day of teaching before Thanksgiving. Favorite work dress and argyle tights.

As excited as I am about this, I was just not feeling like work this morning, so I psyched myself up with fashion. Favorite teaching dress + argyle tights and I was … somewhat more ready to be at work.

Normally I try to arrange things so that I don’t have any grading or other paperwork to do over the break, but this time it just didn’t quite work out, and now I have this pile of 75 literature essays staring me in the face, not to mention about a bohillion other bits of paper requiring my attention. The week of sloth (aka “leisure”) I envisioned may not come to fruition, but I surely will do my best. I am going to designate just a couple of hours each day to attacking the piles, and then I’ll be sure to designate more hours for such activities as reading, watching movies, snorgling the dog, and staring at the wall. This I do solemnly swear.

2. Egon’s walk has improved a lot, and he has passed the halfway point in his enforced crate rest. Less than two weeks to go! He no longer walks like a stumbling drunk all the time, but he does walk like a bit of a sidewinder, with one back leg taking larger steps than the other. Still not sure he could pass a road-side sobriety test, but things are improving! If I get a chance to video his walk again soon, I’ll post another clip to flickr.

3. In other creature news, the cat finally seems to have realized that the dog is confined to a crate, and therefore has been out and about more often in the house, what with the fact that no small dachshund is chasing after her. She occasionally even takes a moment to stretch out on the floor like a big goof. Right now, however, W’s two dogs are visiting and they are running crazy laps around my living room and yelping in each other’s faces while we attempt to watch the Colbert Report. Just another post-happy-hour Thursday night.

So what’s up with you today?

Mad [Wo]men in Atlanta

Posted on October 25, 2011 by KO

For some reason, October is always a month full of travel and busyness. The middle of the semester brings a lot of work, and then there tend to be lots of social events going on, too. I feel like I have so much to catch up on, so I’m going to back up a little bit and tell you about my recent trip to Atlanta to celebrate my friend D’s birthday.

She is a stylish lady who happens to be a big fan of classic movies, cocktails, and good fashion, so she had a Mad Men themed party and we all dressed up in glamorous early sixties clothes and mixed up Manhattans, Martinis, and so on. As you might imagine, the prospect of glamming myself up Betty-Draper style, teasing my hair, drinking whiskey, and celebrating my good friend’s birthday delighted me to no end.

I brought a bottle of Canadian Club whiskey, just like Don Draper drinks, and I think in my excitement I perhaps had a little too much (if my making it home with one fewer earring than I’d left the house with is any indication). I might have over-imbibed, but isn’t that in keeping with the style of Sterling Cooper [Draper Pryce]? I submit to you that it is. You just can’t get ahead on Madison Avenue unless you’re prepared to knock back a few in the office with the rest of the creative team. Just ask Duck Phillips.

Anyway.

Here are a few snaps I took that night:

And a couple I totally stole from the birthday girl’s flickr (these get the atmosphere better):

It was a really fun occasion, and was (as all great parties are) made even greater with the consumption of a big, potato-based breakfast at Ria’s Bluebird Diner. That place is wonderful, and has tons of vegetarian/vegan options!

Great weekend out of town with the ladies! Thanks, D., for hosting such a fun night!

New Apartment Love

Posted on August 3, 2011 by Kate

Why hello there! I am ready to declare myself officially moved in. Here are some pictures of my new apartment along with a list of everything I love about it, which is A LOT. It’s grand. Also, please feel free to count the pieces of furniture I have bought from IKEA. What can I say? Those stylish, efficient Swedes win me over every time. It’s just my people are Nordic.

Here we go:

Office Workspace

Office Shelves

There’s a separate guest bedroom and bath (the bedroom is used as the office right now). They’re on one side of the living/dining/kitchen area, and the “master” bed and bath are on the other side. Much more privacy for guests, and much more separation of work/office from sleep/relaxation when I’m here by myself.

So Many Clothes

There’s a much bigger bedroom with a walk-in closet! Oh yes indeed! I have never had a walk-in closet before in my life and oh how much I was missing! Do I need to buy more clothes and shoes to fill it up? I feel like maybe I do.

There are also bigger bathrooms and (as expected) bigger bathroom counters. This may not sound so special, but until you have lived in a place where your bathroom counter is so precariously narrow that it is a true challenge to balance a toothbrush and some soap on the edge, and your clean toothbrush and fragile eyeglasses are always falling to the dirty ceramic tile floor, you simply cannot understand.

Room to Make a Mess!

Oh y’all, there is a LAUNDRY ROOM, where I will soon have a washer and dryer installed if it fucking kills me. I have three domestic dreams: 1) to have a washer and dryer of my own, 2) to have non-carpeted floors (literally ANYTHING other than carpet is better than carpet — live squid? BETTER THAN CARPET), and 3) to have a fenced-in yard for my army of dachshunds. I am about to make one of those dreams come true. Welling up over here.

I have much newer appliances now than before. My appliances in the old place never seemed so bad, but now I have much quieter air conditioning and a nearly silent dishwasher. The dishwasher seems a bit smaller and harder to load (wine glasses don’t fit on the top rack WHAT THE EVERLOVING FRAK), but it is so quiet that I ceased caring as soon as I first turned it on. In the old place, turning on the AC was like living through the end of the world; in the new place I thought I couldn’t turn it on at all because it was so quiet I did not realize it was already running. True story. Oh, and there’s a garbage disposal. I don’t necessarily care right now, but I’m sure this will turn out to be appreciated.

I also now am in the middle of a lovely landscaped setting with trees, a lake, gardens, dog clean-up stations, and so on. This makes a huge difference. I’d love to show you pictures but it seems dumb to post photos of the outside of my house, you know? Just imagine: pine, crepe myrtle, lavender.

We have an outgoing mail box for sending mail. No, I did not have that at the old place. Yes, I had to go to the post office to send mail. I know. WHISKEY. TANGO. FOXTROT. I’m pretty sure I now have the minimum postal mail service allowable by law at a residence. Congratulations to me.

Over all, it’s a quieter setting, farther away from any busy roads, and there’s much less noise in the parking lots. Egon and I both appreciate this.

Dining Area

Living Room

I have “nice” new carpet! Like I said above, though, literally anything you can think of is better than carpet. Quicksand? Better than carpet. Piles of used and discarded biohazard sharps from the ER? Better than carpet. Still, clean carpet beats filthy mystery-stained carpet any day of the week. It’s just that’s not saying much, you know?

(GOD I LOATHE CARPET. IS THAT CLEAR? ARE YOU PICKING UP WHAT I AM LAYING DOWN? GOOD.)

(WHAT I AM LAYING DOWN? IS NOT CARPET.)

Look, Egon, Just Keep the Carpet Nice, Okay?

There is higher quality paint. Yes, this matters. It is not dry, porous paint that will soak up any stain or smudge. I think it is actually washable paint! (Will have to check.) But with a dog and a bike and a clumsy nature, this is appreciated.

I have a private porch with sliding glass doors! So lovely! I would like to get some chairs and a little table for out there. On the list.

Oh, there is a window in my bedroom! My previous bedroom was an all-interior room with no windows in it at all. I have come to find out that this is against fire code in new buildings, but I guess my old, shitty apartment building got grandfathered in as a safety hazard and general craphole. Lucky them! Anyway, I grew to love the dark cave of my old bedroom, but it looks like I will still be able to sleep in late without the sun blinding me in the morning at the new place. As long as I close the blinds tightly (and maybe add some curtains?) it’s quite nice. BUT! I have the option of sun and ventilation in there if/when I want. Excellente.

Dressers

Natural Light?!

I’m “in the neighborhood”! I used to live in walking distance of campus and downtown and I don’t anymore, but I now live in walking distance of several of my good friends! This is just as good if not better.

Now of course there are some minuses to the new apartment. I am going to keep it positive though, because I think I have solved all of these potential problems, so they really are/were only temporary minuses:

This is odd, but I have almost no overhead lights. The bedrooms and living room have none. What is up with that? I have added lamps and am starting to figure out which wall outlets are connected to the lightswitches, so this should be no big deal.

Bad, Bad Chandelier.

One of the few overhead lights was a very, very bad chandelier. Oh my DOG, I hated it. This kind of thing is exactly the OPPOSITE of my style (assuming I can be said to have “a style,” but still). Moving seems like the perfect time to experiment with electrical work, does it not?

A New Light

Thanks to IKEA and the patience and expertise of my good friend B., I now have a super modern, cool pendant lamp over my dining table. I never would have attempted changing out a ceiling-wired chandelier myself, but B. had experience doing a celing fan before (MAJOR job, much more complex than just a light) and she was confident we could manage it. A couple of false starts and adjustments were necessary, but it turned out FANTASTIC! I’m so glad I considered the daunting idea and got the help I needed (something I normally wouldn’t do because I hate asking for help). Thank you, B.!

A Wine Rack Will Improve This

Tiny Kitchen

I do have a smaller kitchen here. I got used to having space to roam in my old kitchen and I was worried when I saw the little nook of a kitchen here. Luckily, this problem was mostly an illusion: I have about the same amount of counter and cabinet space; it’s just arranged in a tighter configuration. I will just have to get good and cozy with any future cooking partners. Heh.

Oh, so there is a locking doorknob — I mean in addition to the main deadbolt lock on the front door. I already locked myself out once when I was alone, and a second time when W. was inside and could let me in. I am used to having a front door I could ONLY lock from outside when I had the key. With this doorknob, it’s possible to lock the knob, leave without your keys, and be screwed! My plan is to give all my good friends a spare key, hide a spare somewhere nearby (LIKE I’M TELLING YOU WHERE, INTERNET BURGLARS!), and just drill it into my brain to check the knob when I leave on typically keyless trips like walking the dog or taking out trash. Do you have any tips on training my brain not to lock myself out?

Well, I think that wraps it! After living in my previous apartment for four years, it is a true novelty to have moved somewhere else. Back in graduate school I used to move more frequently, but now I feel quite old and staid and resistant to change, so I am pretty sure I would like to stay here forever. Even counting my childhood homes, it is the nicest place I have ever lived. I am never leaving. I’m just going to go chain myself to the water heater right now, but don’t worry: I will still be able to check comments and Twitter. So tell me: what is your favorite thing about the place you currently live?

I Shall Call My New Shorts “The Fascinators”

Posted on April 29, 2011 by Kate

It has been a long week here, friends. It was our last week of regular classes at school (next week: final exams), and I spent my time anxiously awaiting some work-related news. I actually got TWO really great pieces of news at work that I’ll tell you all about once all my I’s are crossed and my T’s are dotted. Or whatever. At any rate, I am excited about my plans for the summer and next year.

Easter came and went and with it the end of my shopping hiatus. In fact, the end of said Lenten hiatus was the only way in which I actually celebrated Easter — as a single, childless, non-religious person living far away from family, I just don’t do Easter. Not that I am opposed to candy, spring, and such. On the contrary. But I like to think that I celebrate those things often. Whenever I like, in fact.

More importantly, I’m sure you are dying to ask: how did I celebrate my great return to shopping? With the purchase of The Pale King, The Deathly Hallows Part I on DVD, and a pair of plaid Bermuda shorts. It’s exciting times here, I tell you.

Oh, you would like to know more about the Bermuda shorts? Well, you probably wouldn’t, but I am going to tell you nevertheless. I have been wanting a pair of patchwork madras plaid Bermuda shorts for two years or so and never found any that I liked. I have been wanting such shorts even in spite of being mocked by my friends, each of whom has had something snarky to say about plaid shorts. Was I returning to the 90s? Going on a golf cruise for seniors? Joining a fraternity? Oh no, friends. I simply recognize the bright and breezy summer utility of a great pair of plaid shorts. Sadly, most of the shorts I have found are super-duper short, maybe a one-inch inseam. This is not a good look for me no matter how liberating running may be for my thigh-related self esteem. However! My friend Becky had the brilliant idea of checking the men’s section at Old Navy when we were there and I realized they make tons of such shorts for men! I got this pair, which is perfect.

I also wound up buying a maxi dress, having bravely entered the fashion world of 2009. Between the senior-citizen golf-cruise-wear and the dated maxi dress, I know I am probably intimidating all of you with how cutting edge I am, stylewise. Well wait until I show you this:

That’s right, it’s me with my hair au naturel and a silly feather head adornment and a Union Jack t-shirt, attending a royal wedding viewing party. Feel free to mock me if you must, but I will have you know that there are not enough opportunities in life to sit around in your pajamas at 4:00 AM drinking champagne and eating delicious baked goods. At least not socially sanctioned opportunities. So of course I had to participate.

I made these vegan pumpkin spice scones (recipe here) and they turned out amazingly well. I realize pumpkin is not exactly in season, but as I haven’t made scones before at all (let alone vegan ones) I figured a recipe with a strong, fibrous binder like pumpkin would be foolproof. And it was.

B. sported a super fancy fascinator* and made some cucumber sandwiches (I LOVE cucumber sandwiches). Between this and the vegan terrine and the aforementioned bubbly, it really did not matter if I had to watch a wedding or not. That said, we obviously did watch the wedding. My thoughts:

Enforced group singing is the worst thing ever. Everyone looked completely miserable while having to sing those hymns.
Kate Middleton has badass eyebrows, just like me, and we have the same first and middle names. I dig her.
*The Fascinator is the very best fashion term ever. Seriously, ever. I had never heard of one until this week! I don’t think the term should be restricted to hats, however. Many stylish items may fascinate.

That’s it, I guess. Did you watch it? What do you think about the whole big spectacle?

Effing the Ineffable

kateo dot org

Category Archives: Style

On Age and Face Jewelry

Three Things Thursday

Mad [Wo]men in Atlanta

New Apartment Love

I Shall Call My New Shorts “The Fascinators”