Monthly Archives: May 2010

The Fret List

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First of all, thank you all sincerely for the words of encouragement on the post below. It means a lot.

This week all of my big training stuff is behind me — it’s time to taper off and rest up, so I won’t be doing any long runs or rides or anything high intensity. Which means I’ll be restless and bored out of my mind, apparently.

This morning I woke up and instead of going for a run or hitting a class at the gym, I lay on my couch for two and a half hours just thinking. As a professional intellectual, I very much support thinking as an activity. I am a fan of it. The kind of thinking in which I was involved this morning, however, was not exactly intellectual thinking. It was more like my to-do list playing on an endless loop, occasionally interspersed with wildly imaginative worst-case scenarios focused on the race, my summer job, my summer finances, my hair, my long-term job prospects, my health, my pedicure, my personal relationships, my counterfeit handbag smuggling ring, and the hot and scandalous love quadrangle in which I am involved.

FINE, some of those things are lies.

(OR ARE THEY?)

But this is what happens when I don’t have anything to do. No work this week, minimal workouts, and plenty of time to fret. Luckily I got myself out of the house to meet my friend Golightly for coffee and productivity. We actually both got a lot of work done this afternoon — actual job-related scholarly work, the kind we don’t really have to be doing on a holiday except that we are achievers like that (and academia brooks no vacations). Tomorrow I plan to get myself out of the house yet again for a short easy bike ride and maybe a trip in to the office. Not exactly big plans, but hopefully a bit of a distraction.

I am really loathe to complain about Summer Job Numero Uno, but I do have to mention that if their pay schedule were more traditional a good fifty percent of the things on my current Fret List could be eliminated. But I don’t really want to talk about money. (Apparently I just want to think about it over and over again repeatedly and again and some more after that.)

As for some of the other things on the Fret List. Well. It’s just that it has been a really long damn time since I have found myself in the position of “dating” anyone or “seeing” anyone or “hanging out with” anyone or whatever the kids are calling it these days and I suspect that I am over-thinking every last goddamned detail. But then I wonder, am I really over-thinking and over-analyzing, or am I so socially inept that I am missing some painfully obvious cues? Am I missing the text for the subtext? I can be pretty thickheaded and oblivious, sometimes, to the ways of human interaction, or at least I seem that way a lot of the time. I can’t help it. As Betty Draper would say, it’s just my people are Nordic.

I think writing out all this nonsense (even as vaguely as I have) may have been helpful. But misery, as they say, loves company. Tell me, what’s on your current Fret List?

Am I Ready for the Triathlon? Is the Triathlon Ready for Me?

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Since I’ve been back from Ohio I have basically been spending time out and about with friends (trivia night, roller derby, hanging out with That Guy, et cetera) and getting ready for the triathlon, which is taking place on June 5th. One week from tomorrow.

AIEEEEE!

I am confident that I can complete the race — I now regularly swim, bike, and run distances much longer than the race distances, and I have done enough brick workouts to know I can do one sport right after the other. Finishing is my most important goal and it’s one I know I can achieve.

[78/365] The Alysa Rides Again!

On the other hand, as I mentioned on Twitter earlier today, I never set out for a bike ride without wondering if I’m going to have an accident or a flat tire. Those worries are just always on my mind. Today I went out for my last long ride before the race, down some long, lovely country roads. Aside from the occasional cement truck or other 18-wheeler (seriously, OMG, what are they doing on these roads?!), the traffic was bearable. It is hard, however, not to occasionally imagine what it would feel like to get run over by one of those massive machines. Would it all happen so fast you wouldn’t feel a thing, or would every arcing parabola of my painful flight, every crushing blow, be traced painstakingly in my cognitive experience?

But such thoughts get me nowhere.

[148/365] Handlebar Traction

The ride itself was great – I managed to pick up some speed on those long, stoplight-free roads and I loved the feel of the wind rushing past me, carrying with it the smell of country pastures (aka horse poop) and wildlife (aka decomposing armadillo carcasses). I saw a flock of buzzards slowly circling overhead as I ground slowly up a long hill out past the fish hatchery (another great smell). “They’re just here for the roadkill,” I told myself, and then happened to think, “BUT WHAT IF THAT IS ME?”

Buzzards

In all seriousness, though, the day was beautiful and I finished the ride feeling that I could have ridden ten more miles or — as the case will be next weekend — run three.

Back when I signed up for this race in September, I was feeling flush with self confidence. “NO BIG DEAL,” I told myself in all caps; “A TRIATHLON. THIS WILL BE EASY.” Of course, I have reevaluated that idea in the months since, during which I have realized how painfully slow I am at both biking and swimming. A couple of nights ago I looked at the race results from 2009 and figured out that with the times I predict I will race next week, if the field is close to the same as it was last year, it will be very, very likely that I will come in last.

I would like to say, of course, that just finishing will be success enough. Or, better yet, that just crossing the starting line will be success enough. I have, after all, come a long way in the last year. I have gone from someone who hadn’t run a mile in years to someone who runs 15-20 miles in a week. And of course, as they say, the person who crosses the finish line last still beats everyone else in town who stayed home that day, opting not to even cross the starting line. Right, right.

You know what, though? I do not want to finish effing last. I do not care how slow I am swimming or biking; I will chase some bitches DOWN in that 3 mile run and I will not finish last. Any chick I see with a number between 30-34 painted on her calf had better get to stepping. You heard it here.

Friends: I Like Them

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I had a big weekend last weekend, a really great and wonderful and full weekend from which I am only now recovering. It started out with hosting my friend Golightly’s birthday party at my place and then driving up to Ohio the following morning for my friend OXR’s wedding. By the time I got back home Monday night (after my second 13-hour drive in four days), I was exhausted.

The weekend was so full of fun that there’s no way I could recap it all. I will tell you that the following things were involved: a Betty Draper dress and delicious Manhattans (too many Manhattans, as usual), cupcakes, a screening of the film The Warriors, a giant iguana at a bar, a wax museum depicting famous Christian martyrs, a bar game known as “cornhole,” a wedding ceremony that made me feel all misty-eyed, an older man singing the songs of Frank Sinatra, a re-creation of the bar game known as “cornhole” outside of the wedding reception using actual corn on the cob and two trash cans, a cake baby, asking a friend for a “track workout that will make me puke,” a very late night, very good talks, a raucous group picture session, and an after-hours hotel-room sing-along to The Decemberists’ “Red Right Ankle.”

[133/365] Blurry Party People

The Winking Lizard

The Creepiest

Ready to Toast

Lakeside

Group, Take One

Sure, blame it on the open bar, but sometimes being around so many good friends makes my salty little heart feel so full of happiness that it hurts.

Summertime!

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My dinner is in the oven right now — I’m roasting root vegetables and simmering some kale, both from the CSA. Speaking of which, can we just pause to admire this week’s bounty?

[131/365] CSA #3: Contents

All righty then. I thought I would pop in and let you know the results of Coffee Week:

It was a riotous success! I finished everything I had to do by Friday night (with the exception of some recalcitrant paperwork) and was free and clear for an excellent weekend. I had a bit of trouble sleeping at first, but I am slowly weaning myself back down to reasonable levels of caffeine and there seem to have been few ill effects, except for — wait, is that Juan Valdez I see in the corner? Oh, nevermind. Just one of my Imagination People. Moving along.

My friend Brunbec’s chihuahuas stayed over again, and because I know you can’t get enough cute puppy pictures:

[127/365] Guest Chihuahuas

You’re welcome.

I had a great night Saturday that included — but was not limited to — seeing my friend Golightly perform with her improv group, having cocktails, and then watching the cinematic classic Back to the Future. I effing love that movie. Why does Marty keep describing things as “heavy”? Is there some problem in the future with the earth’s gravitational pull?

Sunday I did my longest brick workout yet: 12 miles on the bike and a three mile run, which just so happen to be the exact distances of the bike and run parts of the sprint triathlon I’m doing in June. Tomorrow: big swim workout. I am determined not to come in last at this thing, which will be a challenge. I’m awfully slow swimming and biking, so I guess my plan is to just chase people down on the run. I’m cool with that.

Whenever I have a big workout day like that, by the way, I like to celebrate:

[129/365] Wine!

Yes, I train just like the pros.

This week is shaping up to be full of fun, too: trivia at the bar tonight; Golightly’s birthday party at my house Thursday, and then Friday I head up to Ohio for my friend OXR’s wedding weekend, where I’ll get to see a good many of my old Oregonian friends. Can’t wait!

Summer, I kind of want to make out with you right now.

Coffee Week Continues – with Poorly Organized thoughts and a Limited Attention Span

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[126/365] Coffee Week Continues

I am chugging along in a blaze of caffeinated productivity, hopefully to end tomorrow evening. In the meanwhile, my brain is almost completely maxed out. That thing that happens to an athlete when they overtrain? Called overtraining? It’s happening inside my brain right now. Nonetheless, I can’t believe I’ll soon be done with the semester — there were a couple of weeks after Spring Break during which I honestly felt that time was moving backwards.

In other news, the crush guy I so eloquently embarrassed myself in front of with my weirdo eye hickey comment — remember him? Well, I guess he doesn’t think I am a complete freak (or maybe he does and he just likes freaks; either way) because we have been hanging out a bit. Let’s just hope I can for the love of dog play it somewhat cool (very difficult for me) and not bring up the eye hickeys again and/or not accidentally tell him that I like him like him. Lord knows guys get all nervous when they think we like them.

In completely unrelated news (listen, I said my brain is fried and I meant it — smooth transitions have gone the way of my patience and sanity) I finally caught up on The Biggest Loser. This week’s episode was a real tearjerker. It was makeover week, which I love because the contestants get all prettied up and get to see how great they look after all the hard work, but especially because their families and friends get to see them. The reactions are always great. I know some people hate the show because 1) it both sort of sensationalizes and abjectifies fat people and 2) it presents radical weight loss in an unrealistic setting. Both of these are valid complaints. You know what, though? Watching the fat people sweat it out, eat salads, and get skinny, all while Bob and Jillian yell at them? It has always inspired me, especially back when I had gotten overweight and lazy and thought I was doomed to stay that way. Jillian is totally my fitness guru.

Speaking of inspiration, I spent yesterday and today reading my literature students’ final papers, and honestly — what an unexpected place for me to find inspiration. We never really talked about this topic in class, but for some reason a large number of students wound up writing about relationships and community; the need to nourish our lives by connecting with others; the perils of a life lived for oneself alone. I’ve been thinking about that too lately. I don’t know what I want to say about it here right now, but maybe I will put my thoughts together soon for a post at a later date.

Poorly organized thoughts, indeed. Time for me to sign off so I can get ready to finish my week (and my semester). Thank dog.