“Obviously, you’re not a golfer.” (aka Adventures in Bowling)

Yesterday I went bowling for the first time in about twenty years. The last time I bowled was in middle school gym class — we had an option where, if you signed up for bowling, you got to walk to the bowling alley every day for gym, bowl one game, and then return to school. One of the big draws, of course, was that you could also buy candy at the concession stand while there. Blow Pops, in particular. Bowling and a lollipop with gum in the center? We were living large, let me tell you.

Bowling shoes

I was never any good at bowling, though: I never came close to breaking 100 points and once I even had an all-time low score of 19. I tried, but I just never quite got it. Since then, I have just never gone, even despite renewed the allure The Big Lebowski had given to the sport since the late 1990s. Bowling became one of those things that I just don’t do, like downhill skiing, eating popcorn, wearing pleated pants, or voting Republican.

Lanes

After my twenty-year hiatus, I was a little nervous yesterday, wondering if I would even be able to get the ball going in the right direction. Things didn’t get off to a great start when I rolled two gutterballs in the first frame. Yup, I’m no good at bowling.

We had a group of eight people, so we were using two lanes, one of which was set up with bumpers — you know, the little rails they put up in the gutters for when little kids are bowling, so they never get a gutterball and can actually knock some pins down? Yeah. I was thinking I probably needed to be in the bumper lane, but of course I wound up in the “real” lane. So not fair! I mean, this is not ‘Nam; this is bowling. There are rules. I was grousing and grumbling about the injustice of it all when I went up to roll for my second frame and, lo and behold, I rolled a strike. Say what now?!

It was kind of like that all night: ups and downs, strikes and guuters. Just like The Dude says. I finished the first game in last place in our lane (and only beat one person playing in the bumper lane). The next game I came in third in our lane, and in the third game we swapped lanes so our group of four had bumpers and the others didn’t, and I still came in third. You know what, though? It was really, really fun. I managed to roll a few strikes throughout the night, actually, and until I started to get tired I was improving bit by bit.

Me and Will

I think the pitchers of beer certainly helped matters, as did being there with a big group of friends who were cheering each other on and generally keeping spirits high. I surprised myself by enjoying it as much as I did — I’m even thinking I would like to go back every now and then so I can get better at it. I’d like to win a game once! Maybe some day.

I think when I was younger I used to get hung up on competition and the (percieved) need to excel at things. If I wasn’t good at something with minimal effort, why do it? Why bear the indignity of medicority? I’d like to think I am getting over that limiting way of thinking as I get older — after all, I am not especially “good at” running or triathlon except insofar as I enjoy those sports and love to participate in them. I don’t have to be winning my age group to make a race fun (though I’d like to, one day), and I don’t even have to be racing to make a run, ride, or swim worth my while. The experience of the moment is fulfilling in itself, as is the sense of accomplishment gained from simply trying to learn new things.

As life goes on, I’ve realized that what I had always thought of a fixed aversions or dislikes (Brussels sprouts, games, bowling) may not be so fixed after all. I love me some roasted Brussels sprouts these days, for example. Perhaps there will be a time in the future when I will give downhill skiing another try, or discover a love of popcorn. I’m sure pleated pants will come back in style some day soon, if they haven’t already. As for voting Republican, though? Well, probably not.

On Age and Face Jewelry

I am thirty four years old and, therefore, probably too old to be wearing a nose ring. I am a professional, an educator, someone who (at least sometimes) wears suits to work. Nonetheless, I stubbornly do not feel like giving it up — and I do teach in Liberal Arts, which means I don’t really have to. I could probably get away with wearing Birkenstocks every day if I wanted to (but thank dog I don’t). I have been wearing the same plain surgical steel hoop in my nose for about the past 14 years. I decided, as some sort of nod to maturity (and also a desire for something new), to switch to a small sparkly stud I bought from Etsy. This would, I thought, be less conspicuous, and also pretty.

Let me just tell you what a giant pain in the ass this whole thing was. After finally removing the hoop (which was just a single piece of wire that had to be straightened out a bit to be removed), I tried for some time to insert the screw-shaped stud I’d bought to replace it.

[16/366] Nosewear

As you can see in the photo, the screw is both an awkward (but clever) design, and a slightly thicker gauge than the hoop was. It was annoying and painful to put it in, but I figured once I’d gotten it there I was good to go.

Cut to two days later, when I woke up with my nose even more sore than it had already been and obviously inflamed and disgusting. Huh. I took the stud out, but could not get the hoop to go back (it was too bent up at this point and messing around with it was painful). I figured it was time to face facts: Just like Roger Murtaugh, I am too old for this shit. I would have to give it up.

But then, I was struck with inspiration: I would go to the mall. There is a Hot Topic in the mall. A Hot Topic that sells nose jewelry. Could I face the horrors of Hot Topic? Was the Hot Topic even still in business? I could and it was.

I walked right in, me, thirty-four years old, and tried to avoid having to talk to the teenaged boy working the counter. I guess the young people of Auburn are perhaps not the target market for exaggerated fishnet tights, manga lunchboxes, and Evanescence tee-shirts, because I was the only customer in the place. Of course, the teenaged boy (who, I feel like I should mention, had several facial piercings of his own, as is appropriate for a teenager) came over and had to help me choose a nose stud from the glass case, amiably chatting me up the entire time. He apparently could not see how mortified I was to be there: me! thirty-four years old! in a Hot Topic! Let’s just say I got out of there as fast as possible, before he could ask me if I was buying the nose jewelry for my kid or something.

There was a happy ending, though: after much washing and sterlizing and such, I managed to put in the smaller-gauge, L-shaped stud. It was approximately a thousand times easier to use than the screw-shaped stud I’d tried before, and because it was as skinny as my old hoop, it didn’t aggravate or stretch my nose at all.

Old nose hoop..New nose stud in action.

Before and After

Lessons learned: 1) check the gauge of any new body-peircing jewelry you buy; 2) Yes, Hot Topic is still in business, and 3) apparently I have determined that thirty-four is still not too old for this shit, at least for now.

In the midst of life we are in debt, et cetera.

Friday the 13th was a pretty good day for me: I made the very last payment on a credit card I have had since 1996. (Yes, I am old.) I remember how I got that credit card — it was my first, see. A Very Nice Lady from the bank called my dorm room telephone and asked me if I’d be interested in applying for a student MasterCard, special for college students. And so I did. I have to imagine the bank had the telephone numbers for each and every dorm room at my school and they probably cold-called everyone. At any rate, I opened up the account — a modest $500 credit limit, only to be used in emergencies — and my life as a debtor began.

(I’m sure you’ve heard stories like this before or went through something similar yourself. This is America, after all. I am neither interesting nor unique in my past financial problems, but I’m going to write all about it regardless of just how very unremarkable I am. I think it might be helpful for anyone else who is going through the same thing and I know it will be helpful for me.)

I had the best of intentions for my shiny new MasterCard and I certainly did not plan to use it for any frivolous spending. I only charged what I could afford to pay off each month. The first purchase I made that wasn’t immediately paid off was a set of tires for my superfly 1987 Chevy Calvalier. A legitimate expense, I am sure you will agree. (And one sweet, sweet ride, which is beside the point.)

Over the years, of course, my attitute toward the card and toward my spending relaxed: I was a scholarship student working part time jobs around town for spending money, most of which went for things like books, art supplies, gas, and basic expenses. I was 100% financially independent from my parents, and proud of it. This meant, though, that I didn’t really ever have cash for frivolous things like shopping, clothes, or restaurant meals, and as I got more comfortable with charging those things, the bank continued to increase my credit limit to accomodate my habits.

You can guess, of course, that trouble ensued. I used the card a lot when I lived in Germany junior year. I received a modest stipend from my German university to help with living expenses, but my student Visa didn’t allow me to work there, so I put a lot of things on the credit card. When I graduated college and moved to Oregon for my PhD, there was a 6-week period where I hadn’t yet started my teaching fellowship and couldn’t find a job around town, so ALL my living expenses went on the credit card. Ouch.

Throughout graduate school, I wound up opening up other, smaller credit cards here and there and debt just kept mounting. The $800 monthly paycheck from my fellowship was not cutting it, and the spotty part-time summer employment, even with the help of student loans, still wasn’t enough. Unfortunately, I was essentially unwilling to live the frugal, ascetic lifestyle I would have needed to embrace in order to avoid taking on any more debt. And really, who cared, right? As long as I could afford the minimum payments, and could keep charging things, why worry?

(Ahhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Weep.)

Soon enough, though, I could not afford the minimum payment anymore and the card was totally maxed out. Um, oops. At that point I had to figure out some kind of plan of action. Or, maybe instead of figuring out some kind of plan of action, I could, like, maybe just ignore the situation instead? Yeah. Let’s try that. Ignoring the problem (and the letters, and the phone calls) would be just fine.

At some point, things came to a head. I had to actually talk to the bank, on the telephone, like a real grown up lady. I had to look at the actual numbers, instead of squinting at the bills through my nearly shut eyelashes. It was terrifying. There was no way I could see to come correct with this account. The minimum payment alone was more than my rent, both of which were more than half my paycheck. Rent + minimum payment > paycheck. This = problem. Even I, financially challenged as I was, could figure that out.

But when I spoke to the bank, they actually helped me. I in no way expected this, but they made it work. The account was closed and I started a five-year, fixed payment plan, after which the entire balance would be paid off. The interest rate during this period was a mere 3.9%.

I still felt like I’d never get it paid off — the payment amount they set for me was not as cripplingly high as the old minimum had been, but it was still a pretty painful number to think of. Nonetheless, I knew I just had to hold on for five years and I’d be done with it. During that time, I finally figured out how to limit and budget and make my life work with the money I had coming in. It helped that during this time I got a real, post-grad-school job.

Over the past two years, I’ve also been working on paying off another credit card from the grad school years — the second one had a balance only 1/4 as high when I closed it and the payment was only 1/2 what the bigger one was. Coincidentally, I made the final payment to that bank in late December. Between these two credit cards and my student loans, I’d been paying about $850 a month toward debt, all of which was incurred while in college and graduate school. Ouch. As of now, though, I am down to only two things in the red-ink column: student loans (which I’ll be paying for the next 9 years), and dog surgery bills. It feels really good. Damn that dog surgery bill, though! I should have nothing on the books right now except my student loans. But I hope to have them paid off completely by the end of 2012.

What’s interesting to me is that the worst of the debt was incurred and mismanaged during the very same years that my weight balloned up from my healthy size to the fattest I’ve ever been. And then during the same years I spent paying off the debt, I got myself back on track with health, nutrition, and fitness, and I lost 120 pounds.

(Hmm, I’ve shared the amount of weight I lost — should I share the amount of debt I paid off? I’m not sure I feel as comfortable with that number being public. Let’s just say… I could have bought myself a fully loaded 2012 Toyota Prius for that amount.)

I have no doubt that these two things, weight and debt, are connected; after all, they are also two of America’s most-noted problems. We are all overweight and in over our heads with debt, too fat and out of shape to climb out of the hole we’ve dug, or so says the news. I won’t wax on about the nation at large, but I can refer to my own case: quite simply, I had a problem with overconsumption. I was not able to limit or to budget, either when it came to calories or to dollars. I was not able to say no — to another beer, to a basket of fries, or to putting the bar tab on my credit card at the end of the night.

As I write this, however, I have a very managable debt situation and I have maintained my weight loss, give or take five pounds, for over 18 months. This is proof that no matter how big a hole you can dig for yourself, there is always the possibility of climbing back out. In both cases, coming face to face with the numbers, no matter how frightening, is a solid first step.

Quotation of the Day: Toughminded Edition

Like last year and the year before, I’m bringing a few of the wise words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to you in honor of his birthday.

The strong man holds in a living blend strongly marked opposites. The idealists are usually not realistic, and the realists are not usually idealistic. The militant are not generally known to be passive, nor the passive to be militant. Seldom are the humble self-assertive, or the self-assertive humble. But life at its best is a creative synthesis of opposites in fruitful harmony. The philosopher Hegel said that truth is found neither in the thesis nor the antithesis, but in the emergent synthesis which reconciles the two.

***
The tough mind is sharp and penetrating, breaking through the crust of legends and myths and sifting the true from the false. The tough-minded individual is astute and discerning. He has a strong austere quality that makes for firmness of purpose and solidness of commitment. Who doubts that this toughness is one of man’s greatest needs? Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

***
There is little hope for us until we become toughminded enough to break loose from the shackles of prejudice, half-truths, and downright ignorance. The shape of the world today does not permit us the luxury of softmindedness. A nation or civilization that continues to produce softminded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.
But we must not stop with the cultivation of a tough mind. The gospel also demands a tender heart. … What is more tragic than to see a person who has risen to the disciplined heights of toughmindedness but has at the same time sunk to the passionless depths of hardheartedness?
Strength to Love, 1963

Eggs in a Basket (and in My Refrigerator)

Lazy weekend mornings are something I have been enjoying very much over the last several months. W and I like to sleep in as late as we want, then take time to make coffee “the hard way,” in a French press or a chemex pot and eat breakfast while lounging on the couch with the dogs. These breakfasts have included eggs for a while now, something I had not eaten in years of avoiding animal products and being a mostly strict vegan.

Making Coffee

Eggs

I have never exactly toed the party line on every issue: I have always eaten honey, and am not often inclined to ask at restaurants if, for example, their bread contains eggs. I question whether there is, in fact, a true “party line” at all. I think most people have to find what works best for them as individuals. Nonetheless, soi-disant vegans do not eat eggs, and I had not straight up eaten a fried egg in maybe three years.

Eggs and Bread

When I had eggs again for the first time, they were eggs delivered straight from one of our local CSA farms to W’s office (they receive egg deliveries pretty regularly — I don’t know how that arrangement came about but I’m not complaining). It’s a small, ethical, organic farm right here in our county, which made it something I felt much more comfortable about than I would grocery-store eggs. That morning, we also had a fresh loaf of sourdough bread from the farmers’ market, and W made eggs in a basket. To this day, that is one of my Most Memorable Meals. Everything about it was perfect.

[7/366] Eggs in a Basket

Breakfast

Since then, I have often requested eggs in a basket, which I did this morning and the chef kindly obliged. It’s a little indulgent, to eat eggs when I clearly don’t have to. I get by without animal products most of the time, right? But the whole lazy weekend ritual is pretty indulgent in and of itself.

I see this as a sort of luxury food. I don’t bake with eggs, for example. Why bother when I have tons of vegan recipes and there’s nothing noticeably different (to me, anyway) between vegan cookies or cupcakes and their non-vegan varieties? Just because I am having eggs on a Saturday morning, I am not going to start putting them into my cookies.

I had added organic Greek yogurt to my diet about a year ago, when I was having problems incorporating protein into my on-campus lunches and was simultaneously experiencing some slow-to-resolve running injuries. I’m not sure that it’s made a huge difference in the injury issue, but it has kept me on track nutritionally even when I’m stuck eating lunch in my office. (Bags of pretzels and granola bars were not doing the trick, and hummus and veggies really wasn’t, either.) I still keep all of my dairy-free products in the house, though, like Earth Balance, Tofutti “cream cheese,” soy milk, and so on. Given the choice, I will take the vegan option almost every time, but if I am eating some local, organic, eggs from one of our CSA farms on the weekend, I am not going to sweat it.

Bloody Mary..Garnishes

I am also not going to sweat it if I occasionally add a Bloody Mary or two to the long, lazy breakfast. Especially if I’ve just finished a long run. But please hold the Worcestershire sauce — I’m not interested in drinking any anchovies with my cocktail, thanks!

I have always said that I eat the way I do because it works for me and is sustainable, both in terms of nutrition and the environment. That was true when I completely avoided eggs and dairy and I hope it is still true now.